Everything was beautiful.

Light.

Vitality.

Closeness.

Happiness.

Love.

And then sickness. Bleeding.

Everything was unbearable.

Darkness.

Hopelessness.

Depression.

Hate.

Hate for everything, everyone, but her... and her.

A twisted decision.

Necessity.

And then birth. Death.

Weak lungs screaming.

Cold.

Oh, god. No.

This was his... no.

She was... no.

Realization.

Desperation.

----------------------------------------------------

Nathan couldn't stop turning, tensing worriedly with every shuddering cough from the cubicle next to him. His fingers stopped on his keyboard.

"Samson?" He started, about to get up.

"Nathan?"

The young doctor turned and looked up to view, with pleasant surprise, the huge grin on his boss's face. And, even more surprising, a curious smile from the boss, Rotti Largo.

"I'd like you to come to the GeneCo associates dinner tonight."

Yoshin moved out of the way, and Nathan's eyes widened when Largo addressed him.

"Yoshin has told me a lot about you, Nathan. I would love for you to attend."

He could do nothing but nod in response. Satisfied, Rotti continued walking. Yoshin stuck behind for a moment, leaning over the top of Nathan's cubicle to look him in the eye.

"You were very good, responding to the whole 'Cynthia' crisis the other day." Yoshin said. "Fast thinking, precise work... I think you may get upgraded to surgeon soon."

Nathan was left speechless again as Yoshin strode to catch up with Largo.

Samson scoffed from the cubicle next to him. Nathan looked over, responding with a similarly uncommital 'hmm?', though he knew his excitement was probably in his smile. How smug he must look.

"Y' lucky bastard." Samson drolled, leaning back in his chair. "Not everyday a GeneCo surgeon makes a mistake like that."

Nathan considered this.

"Is it every day an intern takes over?"

Oh, wow. Definitely letting it get to his head now.

"No." Samson admitted. "Still think yer a lucky bastard, though." Then he coughed, and Nathan felt the wave of worry for his coworker, shadowed over by his anticipation earlier, return full force.

"Samson, how did your surgery go?" Nathan said, chin resting on the top of his cubicle wall as he scanned Samson quickly for any signs of organ rejection or infection. "Are you recovering well and properly?"

Samson laughed then, spreading his arms wide.

"Always the doctor, huh? Went fine." He slapped his own chest good-heartedly. "Luckily my surgeon didn' go an' try an' take out the wrong damn lung first. It got stitched up fine."

"And the pain?"

Samson flinched.

"I c'n handle it."

"There's a brand of zydrate specifically for smoker's lung patients, with a nicotine substitute, you know-"

"I know, Nate." Samson smiled, giving his coworker the thumbs up. "Good workin' with ya, man. I have a feelin' you won' be workin' in a cubicle fer much longer."

----------------------------------------------------

Nathan was a bundle of nerves as he entered the ballroom. He immediately felt inadequate around this upper ring, this upper class. His best suit seemed dumpy, even his lop-sided smile paled in comparison to the grins of the exotic beauties surrounding him.

Then suddenly, Yoshin placed a hand on his back, leading him to the most esteemed there. There was a minute of blurred memory. Shaking hands, exchanged 'nice to meet you's. Largo's booming laugh, and a powerful but warm pat on the back as the founder of GeneCo told him to loosen up, before introducing him to his date.

Marni.

Thoughts stood still for a moment.

The first thing Nathan noticed was how comfortable he felt around her. She had a warmth about her, not unlike Rotti. A feeling of acceptance, a wordless kindness. Nonjudgemental. Someone who was glad to see you, you, specifically. It made you feel like you were the only person there, the only person who mattered, on top of the world, when she graced you with her attention.

Then he noticed her smile, and how lively that smile was. Her vitality. She had a very recognizable vitality to her. The way she carried herself, her voice, she was a singer. She had a musician's passion. Everything about her, her gestures, her steps, every word, was filled with that same passion.

And then, lastly, he noticed how beautiful she was. Her hair, the common brunette with an uncommon red hue, fell over her pale shoulders. She had the most beautiful eyes. Eyes that didn't hide any thought or feeling. Honest eyes. A long, elegant face, with a slightly crooked nose. And that smile... overpowering. Beautiful. Her figure curved with the same gracefulness with which she moved.

Then the moment passed, and he shook her hand.

This beautiful woman's presence somehow loosened him up. He knew just what to say, how to act, and for a few hours, he had no reservations.

Rotti and Marni danced a few times, and Nathan watched in awe. The couple glowed together, the love and affection and warmth towards each other obvious as they glided across the ballroom. Rotti stopped, one hand resting on his knee, out of breath and laughing about it. The couple returned to the circle.

Largo began discussing business with the other associates, leaving the wives and dates to talk amongst themselves, and Nathan withdrew from the conversation as the men started discussing finances.

Most of the women, older than Marni, formed one clump and began chattering excitedly. Marni didn't seem to mind, eyes drifting across the room until they met Nathan's. She approached him, gesturing to the door.

"Come! Walk with me, Nathan."

Thoughtlessly he obeyed, still weirdly fascinated by the woman.

As soon as they were outside, Marni inspected him with those clear eyes, a serious look on her brow as she considered him. Nathan fidgeted, and Marni's eyes snapped up to meet his again.

"What surgery have you had?" She asked suddenly. Her expression stayed serious.

Nathan stood, flustered by her attention, before wracking his brain to answer her question.

"I... don't believe I've ever had any, myself, actually." Nathan replied, surprised to realize he had never really experienced what he assisted with routinely.

The tension in Marni's posture, which he hadn't even realized was there, left her as she seemed to let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank god." She said exasperatedly. "You and I are probably the only ones who haven't had something replaced or redesigned in this entire building. Even the janitor had a new nose and a fake head of hair. The janitor!" She stomped for emphasis.

Nathan laughed, realizing Marni's regal demeanor had fallen away. It didn't matter, this more relaxed Marni was even more lively, more warm, more beautiful.

"You really haven't had any surgery?" Nathan asked, still confused by that claim.

"Not a one. It freaks me out, changing yourself so much. It's not natural. My body is my body. Nobody else's. Not a corporation's. Mine." She gestured defiantly at herself, before stopping to consider. "If I needed it for my health, then I would, I suppose, but for no other reason."

"Understandable." Nathan replied. "But that seems an odd opinion for someone dating Rotti Largo."

Marni smiled, and Nathan stood amazed. Her face glowed again at the mere mention of Largo's name. They were a couple in love, no doubt, and all he could do was look in fascination.

"I suppose it is. I've told Largo so, as well, but he doesn't seem to mind, so neither do I." Marni explained. "We don't talk about his work, because he knows I don't approve."

They talked for another hour, nearly, before the music in the ballroom died down and Rotti Largo walked out to stand at Marni's side.

"Keeping my dear company, Nathan?" Largo asked, still grinning, though it seemed slightly strained now. "Thank you. Business talk bores her."

Marni looked up at Rotti, grabbing his hand and lifting it to her lips, kissing it before looking up again. The gesture was loving and affectionate, and Largo's grin returned in earnest, the strain melted away.

"Nathan is a very kind person, and a great listener, Rotti." Marni said, turning to smile at him before looking back at Rotti. "I can't judge his skills with a scalpel, obviously, but I rather like him."

"You know, I rather like him as well." Rottie said, turning his attention to Nathan. He waited nervously, unsure under Rotti's gaze. "And I can judge his surgeon skills." He placed a reassuring hand on Nathan's shoulder, grin brimming with warmth. "Nathan, on Monday, I want you to report to the head surgeon's office to pick up your new uniform and tools."

Nathan stood there, dumbfounded for a moment, before he grinned with excitement.

"Thank you, sir! I'll do just that." Nathan said. Rotti clapped his hand on Nathan's shoulder, chuckling.

"Very good. I have high expectations for you, Nathan." Rotti said, before taking Marni's arm.

"Come along, dear. Time to leave." He turned his glowing grin back to Nathan over his shoulder one last time. "Goodnight, Nathan."

"Goodnight, sir."

----------------------------------------------------

"When did your hair turn dark like this, Marni? I've forgotten."

The woman turned, setting down the box in her hands to examine her own hair. Nathan gathered the ends into his hand, fingers raking through the rough curls.

"When I met you, I think." Marni teased, gently pulling the hair away from his grasp. "You've been trouble ever since."

Nathan returned it with a teasing smile, before wrapping his arms around Marni's shoulders, resting his chin on her head. She laughed, hands reaching behind her to grab his, lowering their entwined hands to her waist.

"So, what are you saying?" Nathan interrupted the quiet, pecking her on the cheek. "I turned your hair prematurely grey?" He rested his cheek against the changed locks. "A very dark grey?"

"Exactly." Marni replied, laughing again.

"Your laugh hasn't changed at all, though." Nathan whispered fondly, nuzzling against Marni's neck. She giggled in reply, and he had to chuckle as well, feeling rather than hearing the light sound. "It's like a bell. A clear calling bell..." He kissed her neck. "Perfactly crafted, undented..."

"And you haven't changed at all, either." Marni commented, smiling despite herself at the cliched compliment. She rested her head against his. "Always the hopeless romantic, aren't you?"

"S'your fault." Nathan replied lamely, voice muffled against her shoulder. He continued to simply stand there, both lost in the moment of peace. Such moments always suprised him- when Marni stopped scrambling, like the insatiable person she was, to fill every second of life she could. He loved her for it, and it made the quiet moments all that more precious.

Then he felt her tense and shift in his arms, and he moved his head up to look at her, alarmed. She moved her head to rest against his shoulder so she could look him in the eye. Her eyes never hid emotion, and he asked what was wrong immediately, upon seeing the cloaked worry there.

"There's... nothing wrong," was the uncertain reply. The worry didn't leave her eyes, and Nathan squeezed her hands slightly to encourage her to continue.

"Nathan, do you have any plans for the extra room upstairs?" Marni spat out. Nathan stared down at her for a moment in confusion, wondering why she was so worried over such a trivial thing. He nodded slowly.

"I was thinking, maybe an office. Somewhere for me to do my paperwork." Nathan said, regretting how bland the idea seemed once he said it out loud. Marni would probably turn it into an art studio, or something. He looked down to see Marni's eyes and entire expression now overtaken by worry. Concern filled his own expression. "Why? Do you have any plans?"

Marni tensed even more, and inhaled shakily.

"Well, I think... we may need it for... something else, yes."

Nathan watched in wonder as Marni lifted his hands, and splayed his palms and fingers across her stomach.

And suddenly, as he felt the slightly speeded, nervous breath against his neck, and the stretch of fabric against the front of Marni's surprisingly rounded stomach, the nerves made sense. Her fatigue in the past few months, her sudden appetite, it all clicked.

He felt her eyes burrow into his, and he quickly realized that there was no way that Marni could say it out loud. She searched his face for some sort of reaction, expression twisted with nervous fear.

Nathan's reaction was slow, at first, as he felt a smile tug at his lips. Fondness filling him up, bubbling over as he grinned down at Marni's confused face.

And then he was shouting out with happiness, grabbing Marni roughly, klutzily by the hips to turn and face him, before lifting her off the ground. He spun them both in a circle across the room, before returning Marni's feet to a solid surface. Then he was kissing her like crazy, and she was alternately laughing in relief and kissing back.

"Oh, Marni!" He exclaimed, over and over again, and her face brightened so much he thought he would go blind. The moment was pure bliss, both too happy for any smile to ever show, or even get close.

"Well? Girl? Boy? Names! Oh, goodness, Marni, names!" Nathan said hurriedly, arms circling Marni's waist.

"I'm only a few months in, Nathan. I don't have any idea. I haven't even thought about it yet." Marni replied breathlessly. "Good god, you're more excited about this than I am!"

Nathan responded by catching Marni's lips in his again, this time kissing slowly, thoughtfully. The moment fell into a comfortable lull, as every ounce of tension, every worry and hesitation, a strain left unexamined and unexplained, was suddenly lifted. He pulled away first, raising a hand to wipe away tears of glad relief from his wife's eyes.

"I love you. So much."

A sigh of relief. Hands caressing his work-worn face.

"I love you, Nathan."

----------------------------------------------------

"Daddy?

Grumbling.

"Daddy? Are you awake?"

"Nnn?"

"Daddy?"

"Hnnn?...What is it, precious?"

"Daddy... did I kill mom?"

"I- WHAT?!"

"Did I-"

Shuffling of sheets. Quick footsteps.

"Stop. Shi. Stop."

"But Daddy-"

"Don't ever say that again-"

"But-"

"I told you, it was her blood disease!!!"

"But I-"

"Stop!"

"NO!!!"

Panting breaths, a young child's fit. Hickups.

"Daddy, why don't I remember her at all? Why are there no pictures of us together?"

The start of a response. Covered completely by juvenile lungs using all the power they had.

"She died when I was born, didn't she?! WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME!!!"

A deep sigh.

"...Do you really want to know, Shilo?"

Sniffling.

"...Yes."

Another deep sigh. Steeling himself to lie.

"She was sick for years before she had you. She actually was getting better when she had you." A lie. "But then, her doctors made a mistake." More truth than he ever wanted to admit. A moment to regain control of his voice, which had begun to shake dangerously. "And she died soon after you were born."

Sniffling again.

"So... so I had nothing to do with it?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"I didn't weaken her? Hurt her?"

A smile, remembering.

"Not a bit. She was the happiest I had ever seen her, when she was pregnant with you."

"...I had a nightmare."

"About her?"

"No, I- I don't know."

"It's alright. Dreams aren't reality, remember."

"I- I was... I-it was still... sorry."

"It's nothing to worry about, Shi. I'm here."

"...And you're staying, right?"

"Of course, Shilo! Why wouldn't-"

Stopping. Sudden realization of the real weight of the confrontation.

"Daddy..."

"Shilo, come here."

"Daddy..."

"Shilo, you have nothing to fear. I'll never leave you. Shilo, you're the world to me."

Soft sobs, dying down slowly. Strong grip of little hands.

"Daddy..."